Breaking on Substack: For years, men have complained that modern women are too status-obsessed and stuck-up. Aria Schrecker is here to change that. Through her step-by-step Mercenary Method™ of dumping dozens of hapless dudes left and right, she personally guarantees that every female reader of her series will receive one (1) 6'1 Oxbridge graduate husband with high earning potential and impeccable SEO. Limited time offer while supplies last. Don't wait, call now!
Counterpoint: large portions of your "attractive qualities" list are shared by large segments of our friend group! You get "Oxbridge graduate, successful career with a very good long-term earning potential, lots of friends, both men and women, a good person – thoughtful, kind, has a backbone, seeks to improve the world in measurable ways, reads books and is cultured and knowledgeable about a range of things, has hobbies – walking (or ‘hiking’ in American English), plays several instruments, cooks, climbs)" basically for free, with any member of our social set. But also "date people in your friend group" is perhaps a less catchy post.
I think it helps because I'm immersed in middle class nerd world. But the average quality of person I matched with on the apps (where I met [redacted]) was better.
Virtuous (in many senses of the word) traits seem to correlate, but, I recall fun studies that look at people who have shotgun weddings, and the people who got married did better on income and I believe some other outcomes I forget. I also seem to remember cases where people got married and separated, the men earned more during married periods.
All to say, even if some friend groups are filled with people excellent across many dimensions, benefits of marriage seem to persist across social strata.
I saw a study that followed boys who had been in juvenile detention across their lives and basically found yes, they earned more/were less criminal when they were married (more so than when they had a cohabiting girlfriend) and less so if they then split up.
Obviously that's horribly confounded (women probably don't stick around during lots of versions of rock bottom).
But I suspect a 30th percentile man can be elevated substantially by marriage. It depends a lot on the precise traits, of course.
It’s easier for me to see why 30th percentile men will net benefit from marriage, and harder to see why 30th percentile women will benefit. Marriage seems like a poor deal for women, at the lower end.
I would assume she's comfortable enough with her partner to "reduce" the person she loves for the purpose of building credibility with an audience who doesn't know them in this deeper way. For an informational article giving concrete advice on filtering people who you may not yet know, it would be difficult to articulate the full picture of a romantic relationship. Defaulting to the CV makes sense. Again, assuming this article does not intend to paint the full picture of a marriage, she chooses to write to the readers' discernment instead of her husband's sentiment.
I'm happily married, but I never want to take too much credit for that because it feels like it was the luckiest day of my life when I met my partner. I feel that way about a lot of the good things in my life, perhaps because I've also had a lot of loss and I don't think I necessarily earned or deserved all the losses either. Life is chaotic.
Humility is probably positively correlated with marital satisfaction:-)
A classic post of why writers should be held more accountable for what they produce.
The fact that someone can write a post about “Why you shouldn’t want a husband” with exact style, flow, and valid arguments is profoundly disputing this post. It’s not merely hard to admit that the large portions of your reasons arrived from probabilistic fortunes.
Just because this is where you stemmed from doesn’t mean it’s a generalization across cases. Many happily married people happen to have a good career. Many happily career-driven successfully people happen to be by themselves.
In many parts of the world, marriage isn’t even a choice. Just because stats show married people stay together longer doesn’t equate to the fact that many women are trapped in abusive marriages in many cultures. Marriage sometimes is just an act out of obligation, a survival tactic, etc. I’m too tired of many posts about “why you should do something” from so-called “do-gooders” masked with conflating arguments and alienation of diverse sufferings and colors of the world.
P.S. Mildly disappointed about Works in Progress being filled with biased feelings and fallacies.
What a sad waste it would have been had you not found a good husband. You are exactly the type of couple who will raise the next generation of world leaders.
Also your advice on how to find a husband is extremely good.
Congrats Aria! I wish both of you many children. ;-) I'm very much looking forward to the rest of the series, seems like we might have a lot of opinions in common!
I can definitely get on board with that. But the rigor of the argument isn’t what I’m used to for content from Works in Progress, which I usually adore. This current argument is devoid of a very obvious topic which I see most pro-natalists avoid. Until I see I it addressed, I think I’ll remain a fence sitter for the pro-natalist movement for the time being.
Breaking on Substack: For years, men have complained that modern women are too status-obsessed and stuck-up. Aria Schrecker is here to change that. Through her step-by-step Mercenary Method™ of dumping dozens of hapless dudes left and right, she personally guarantees that every female reader of her series will receive one (1) 6'1 Oxbridge graduate husband with high earning potential and impeccable SEO. Limited time offer while supplies last. Don't wait, call now!
Glad to see people with common sense actually exist on this site and who can still write out long thoughtful comments
Counterpoint: large portions of your "attractive qualities" list are shared by large segments of our friend group! You get "Oxbridge graduate, successful career with a very good long-term earning potential, lots of friends, both men and women, a good person – thoughtful, kind, has a backbone, seeks to improve the world in measurable ways, reads books and is cultured and knowledgeable about a range of things, has hobbies – walking (or ‘hiking’ in American English), plays several instruments, cooks, climbs)" basically for free, with any member of our social set. But also "date people in your friend group" is perhaps a less catchy post.
Not every social circle is quite so blessed
Do you think you would have been successful in finding such a husband if you weren't surrounded by reasonable candidates?
I think it helps because I'm immersed in middle class nerd world. But the average quality of person I matched with on the apps (where I met [redacted]) was better.
Which app was it, out of interest? Hinge? I feel I have tried out most of them!
Hinge. I think Hinge is different to what it was like 4 years ago though. Less aggressively middle class people looking for relationships
Virtuous (in many senses of the word) traits seem to correlate, but, I recall fun studies that look at people who have shotgun weddings, and the people who got married did better on income and I believe some other outcomes I forget. I also seem to remember cases where people got married and separated, the men earned more during married periods.
All to say, even if some friend groups are filled with people excellent across many dimensions, benefits of marriage seem to persist across social strata.
I saw a study that followed boys who had been in juvenile detention across their lives and basically found yes, they earned more/were less criminal when they were married (more so than when they had a cohabiting girlfriend) and less so if they then split up.
Obviously that's horribly confounded (women probably don't stick around during lots of versions of rock bottom).
But I suspect a 30th percentile man can be elevated substantially by marriage. It depends a lot on the precise traits, of course.
It’s easier for me to see why 30th percentile men will net benefit from marriage, and harder to see why 30th percentile women will benefit. Marriage seems like a poor deal for women, at the lower end.
Hence why women should (and do) marry up or not at all.
Yeah seems rational to me.
Losing a job may precede separation, of course, and even indirectly cause it
> To maintain his impeccable SEO I’m not going to name him but here’s his CV.
I wish you luck but the fact that you cared to list it down like this makes it feel off. I would never do this to the person I love.
I would assume she's comfortable enough with her partner to "reduce" the person she loves for the purpose of building credibility with an audience who doesn't know them in this deeper way. For an informational article giving concrete advice on filtering people who you may not yet know, it would be difficult to articulate the full picture of a romantic relationship. Defaulting to the CV makes sense. Again, assuming this article does not intend to paint the full picture of a marriage, she chooses to write to the readers' discernment instead of her husband's sentiment.
Exactly! Most aspects of our life are private and also kind of trite to talk about.
This is my first time reading your Substack, can’t wait to read more! You’re funny and also this article affirmed a lot of my biases 👌
I'm happily married, but I never want to take too much credit for that because it feels like it was the luckiest day of my life when I met my partner. I feel that way about a lot of the good things in my life, perhaps because I've also had a lot of loss and I don't think I necessarily earned or deserved all the losses either. Life is chaotic.
Humility is probably positively correlated with marital satisfaction:-)
This is an audacious argument for marriage on non-religious grounds from a young, educated woman in the 21st century. Craziness. I'm here for this.
A classic post of why writers should be held more accountable for what they produce.
The fact that someone can write a post about “Why you shouldn’t want a husband” with exact style, flow, and valid arguments is profoundly disputing this post. It’s not merely hard to admit that the large portions of your reasons arrived from probabilistic fortunes.
Just because this is where you stemmed from doesn’t mean it’s a generalization across cases. Many happily married people happen to have a good career. Many happily career-driven successfully people happen to be by themselves.
In many parts of the world, marriage isn’t even a choice. Just because stats show married people stay together longer doesn’t equate to the fact that many women are trapped in abusive marriages in many cultures. Marriage sometimes is just an act out of obligation, a survival tactic, etc. I’m too tired of many posts about “why you should do something” from so-called “do-gooders” masked with conflating arguments and alienation of diverse sufferings and colors of the world.
P.S. Mildly disappointed about Works in Progress being filled with biased feelings and fallacies.
I agree with this comment so much. I’m also very disappointed to see Works in Progress associated with this and have reconsidered my support for them.
What a sad waste it would have been had you not found a good husband. You are exactly the type of couple who will raise the next generation of world leaders.
Also your advice on how to find a husband is extremely good.
Congratulations! Wishing you many happy years together
A very Asian post 😂, especially at the start, listing qualities of the guy and throwing in traits of the family members
Congrats Aria! I wish both of you many children. ;-) I'm very much looking forward to the rest of the series, seems like we might have a lot of opinions in common!
Congratulations. Wishing you both all wonderful things now and in the future. Look forward to catching up some time.
As someone who was very deliberately looking for a husband as well, I’m very excited for this series!
I’m astounded so many people seem so meh on marriage.
I was widowed by 30, and miss my husband so much. Being together was the best thing that ever happened to me.
One thing you haven't mentioned (but probably should): children are a joy!
Is Works in Progress pronatalist? I’m genuinely a bit speechless at this article.
The hasty generalizations of statistics is not the sort of caliber of analysis I’ve held Works in Progress up to.
Some of this reads like old school red-pill content mixed with trad wife content. I had to do a double, and then a triple read.
If they care about human progress, they _should_ be pro-natalist.
I can definitely get on board with that. But the rigor of the argument isn’t what I’m used to for content from Works in Progress, which I usually adore. This current argument is devoid of a very obvious topic which I see most pro-natalists avoid. Until I see I it addressed, I think I’ll remain a fence sitter for the pro-natalist movement for the time being.