Are you distinguishing between what men find physically attractive and the 'look' that a successful man wants in his wife?
The wives of professors, doctors, lawyers, etc, tend to be more in the mould of Taylor Swift than a Playboy-bunny (and are likely to be professors/doctors/lawyers themselves).
Look I appreciate the advice given here. It is sad but women working on making themselves more beautiful does make a difference in the quality of man (within reason).
However, it is not true that all men need a busty skinny woman. If anything many will marry a skinny women with barely any curves for reasons of status. Not all, but enough where recommending a boob job would not help.
Also, no amount of plastic surgery will take us back to looking like we’re 25 again. Plus it can be dangerous, not every woman reacts well to fillers and Botox.
We should acknowledge that for many men, they will be bored of their wives no matter what they do. I think a better assessment would be to find men who appreciate the beauty of his wife as she ages but still looks after herself ok and is happy to be with one woman for the rest of his life.
Obviously there is a diversity of preferences and most people will end up marrying the person who represents the best arbitrage for them. A big part of the reason so many men will marry skinny women is because there are way more skinny women than curvy women. And skinny is totally nice and acceptable and will land you a great husband.
But I think skinny with big tits is probably better.
I think many men will be committed husbands who accept their wives aging even if they would prefer a younger looking woman. And, at the point of courtship, you want to be maximally appealing.
Beyond simply maintaining health and being tasteful (no crust punk haircut or face tats) women faking an aesthetic they don’t enjoy maintaining, in order to get a husband, contributes to the narrative that women “let themselves go” after marriage or kids.
Some women do stop maintaining their health, become overweight, etc. or get bad haircuts out of supposed convenience, which isn’t what I mean.
If a woman doesn’t enjoy styling hair or wearing makeup, or getting fillers and botox, and she feels pressured to do those things, those aren’t going to be sustainable habits for more than a few years. She will likely fall back to what is sustainable, which may even be above average attractiveness, but it won’t meet the standards she catered to before/beginning the marriage.
I think we should be honest and get the person who fits what we’re actually about, not a facade.
"It’s better to be a beautiful woman who needs GLP-1s, hair extensions and 37 beauty products than it is to be a mid low maintenance girlfriend."
Speaking as a man (with afaict fairly standard beauty preferences), I'd prefer a thin high-maintenance gf to an overweight one[1], but on pretty much every other standard of beauty I'd rather date someone who's easygoing on appearance and interested in other things than someone who's obsessed with personal beauty.
This is especially the case if I'm thinking of someone in terms of "long-term partner" than a casual thing.
This is partially for egalitarian intuitions: I don't spend that much time on appearance as opposed to thinking about ideas, trying to do good, having fun, etc, so it'd be weird to insist my gf/wife does the same. I might also be worried that she'd resent me if she spends a lot of time in front of a mirror every day.
It's hard to say how my preferences compare to other men, but my guess is that while I care *more* about ideas and character than other men, I don't necessarily care less about physical beauty in a partner than other men do. I also worry that while you're right that while generalizing from a small handful of studies isn't very good, trying to get beauty cues from porn + a few anecdotes from your rich friends will also paint a misleading picture.
That said, if your target audience mostly wants husbands who are very prim/proper/highly conscientious, then it makes sense in terms of assortative mating to signal their own high conscientiousness/ability to stick to routine.
[1] I'm not very happy about this, just empirically how I'm wired.
I would guess that the best strategy for landing you would be to be high maintenance when you’re courting and then, once you’re together, drop some of the tasks/chores after talking about which you value the least.
Great post, except it makes a classic mistake of thinking guys don't find Taylor Swift sexy. Trust me most guys are very definitely into Taylor Swift. If you don't believe me check out all the pervy Celebrity subreddits.
I think the advice on weight, skincare, long hair, and tasteful makeup is completely correct, and by far the most important place to focus. I think the focus on boobs and an overly dewy face is a bit too porn brained.
Porn shows men overexaggerated sexual features, which might be exciting when he is in the throes of lust with a girl he does not know at all, but for a girlfriend, I would not want that. I think bigger boobs are marginally better, but men find a variety of sizes attractive. I can’t say for sure, but I don’t think I would ever find a boob job attractive. If you have small boobs, try to date a competitive runner. He will be in great shape, and many of the attractive women he knows will have smaller boobs than you.
And finally, I think most men filter on attractiveness more than they should. If you can meet men in settings where they don’t primary assess you on your beauty, a much larger number who get to know you will find you attractive enough to date. This seems more valuable than going for the last mile on looksmaxing.
I think the best defense against my critiques is that you are directionally correct, and your readers will not overshoot.
This is good advice. It’s always strange as a man hearing about how women face so much toxic pressure from society, when it seems like so many women would be happier if they took that pressure seriously.
Telling women who desperately desire the male gaze that they shouldn’t want it is only harming them.
This post is ridiculous, damaging, and focused on the wrong things. What happened to building a career, financial stability, independence, hobbies???? Why is everything about looksmaxxing these days
"Losing weight is easy now. You can either starve yourself with willpower or you can starve yourself with chemical assistance. […] Currently I control my weight by eating about once a day."
Any woman or man can lose weight without starving themselves, without chemical assistance, and without going to the gym. Just eat a lot of protein, healthy fats, and limit as much as possible the amount of carbs and sugars. Guaranteed you'll lose a lot of weight while improving your health.
Are you distinguishing between what men find physically attractive and the 'look' that a successful man wants in his wife?
The wives of professors, doctors, lawyers, etc, tend to be more in the mould of Taylor Swift than a Playboy-bunny (and are likely to be professors/doctors/lawyers themselves).
I think they’d prefer a lawyer, with large breasts, who dresses like Taylor Swift.
They may say it’s their preference but looking at the wives of successful people doesn’t scream big boobs and hair extensions to me
Look I appreciate the advice given here. It is sad but women working on making themselves more beautiful does make a difference in the quality of man (within reason).
However, it is not true that all men need a busty skinny woman. If anything many will marry a skinny women with barely any curves for reasons of status. Not all, but enough where recommending a boob job would not help.
Also, no amount of plastic surgery will take us back to looking like we’re 25 again. Plus it can be dangerous, not every woman reacts well to fillers and Botox.
We should acknowledge that for many men, they will be bored of their wives no matter what they do. I think a better assessment would be to find men who appreciate the beauty of his wife as she ages but still looks after herself ok and is happy to be with one woman for the rest of his life.
Obviously there is a diversity of preferences and most people will end up marrying the person who represents the best arbitrage for them. A big part of the reason so many men will marry skinny women is because there are way more skinny women than curvy women. And skinny is totally nice and acceptable and will land you a great husband.
But I think skinny with big tits is probably better.
I think many men will be committed husbands who accept their wives aging even if they would prefer a younger looking woman. And, at the point of courtship, you want to be maximally appealing.
Reading this I realize one thing: Those of us who have found husbands who prefer us the way we actually look are really, really lucky.
Beyond simply maintaining health and being tasteful (no crust punk haircut or face tats) women faking an aesthetic they don’t enjoy maintaining, in order to get a husband, contributes to the narrative that women “let themselves go” after marriage or kids.
Some women do stop maintaining their health, become overweight, etc. or get bad haircuts out of supposed convenience, which isn’t what I mean.
If a woman doesn’t enjoy styling hair or wearing makeup, or getting fillers and botox, and she feels pressured to do those things, those aren’t going to be sustainable habits for more than a few years. She will likely fall back to what is sustainable, which may even be above average attractiveness, but it won’t meet the standards she catered to before/beginning the marriage.
I think we should be honest and get the person who fits what we’re actually about, not a facade.
"It’s better to be a beautiful woman who needs GLP-1s, hair extensions and 37 beauty products than it is to be a mid low maintenance girlfriend."
Speaking as a man (with afaict fairly standard beauty preferences), I'd prefer a thin high-maintenance gf to an overweight one[1], but on pretty much every other standard of beauty I'd rather date someone who's easygoing on appearance and interested in other things than someone who's obsessed with personal beauty.
This is especially the case if I'm thinking of someone in terms of "long-term partner" than a casual thing.
This is partially for egalitarian intuitions: I don't spend that much time on appearance as opposed to thinking about ideas, trying to do good, having fun, etc, so it'd be weird to insist my gf/wife does the same. I might also be worried that she'd resent me if she spends a lot of time in front of a mirror every day.
It's hard to say how my preferences compare to other men, but my guess is that while I care *more* about ideas and character than other men, I don't necessarily care less about physical beauty in a partner than other men do. I also worry that while you're right that while generalizing from a small handful of studies isn't very good, trying to get beauty cues from porn + a few anecdotes from your rich friends will also paint a misleading picture.
That said, if your target audience mostly wants husbands who are very prim/proper/highly conscientious, then it makes sense in terms of assortative mating to signal their own high conscientiousness/ability to stick to routine.
[1] I'm not very happy about this, just empirically how I'm wired.
I would guess that the best strategy for landing you would be to be high maintenance when you’re courting and then, once you’re together, drop some of the tasks/chores after talking about which you value the least.
Great post, except it makes a classic mistake of thinking guys don't find Taylor Swift sexy. Trust me most guys are very definitely into Taylor Swift. If you don't believe me check out all the pervy Celebrity subreddits.
I think the advice on weight, skincare, long hair, and tasteful makeup is completely correct, and by far the most important place to focus. I think the focus on boobs and an overly dewy face is a bit too porn brained.
Porn shows men overexaggerated sexual features, which might be exciting when he is in the throes of lust with a girl he does not know at all, but for a girlfriend, I would not want that. I think bigger boobs are marginally better, but men find a variety of sizes attractive. I can’t say for sure, but I don’t think I would ever find a boob job attractive. If you have small boobs, try to date a competitive runner. He will be in great shape, and many of the attractive women he knows will have smaller boobs than you.
And finally, I think most men filter on attractiveness more than they should. If you can meet men in settings where they don’t primary assess you on your beauty, a much larger number who get to know you will find you attractive enough to date. This seems more valuable than going for the last mile on looksmaxing.
I think the best defense against my critiques is that you are directionally correct, and your readers will not overshoot.
This is good advice. It’s always strange as a man hearing about how women face so much toxic pressure from society, when it seems like so many women would be happier if they took that pressure seriously.
Telling women who desperately desire the male gaze that they shouldn’t want it is only harming them.
The absolutely most important thing about breasts is whether or not you enjoy your partner’s caresses. Don’t do anything to risk that.
A female body builder who is not pumped up for competition can really look great. She can have great posture and a spring in her step.
I personally don’t care for pipestem arms and legs. A modicum of muscle tone is ideal.
This post is ridiculous, damaging, and focused on the wrong things. What happened to building a career, financial stability, independence, hobbies???? Why is everything about looksmaxxing these days
"Losing weight is easy now. You can either starve yourself with willpower or you can starve yourself with chemical assistance. […] Currently I control my weight by eating about once a day."
Any woman or man can lose weight without starving themselves, without chemical assistance, and without going to the gym. Just eat a lot of protein, healthy fats, and limit as much as possible the amount of carbs and sugars. Guaranteed you'll lose a lot of weight while improving your health.
I have the metabolism of a snake
Aww yeah because Bathwater Belle Delphine is the Standard of beauty.🤣
A million pounds a month of OnlyFans income has to mean something
Yeah, lots of Jeet gooners. 🤣